How to Stop Stalking your Ex on Social Media
Before the age of social media, relationship breakups were simpler. We would cut off our ex in order to heal while imagining them distraught over the loss of their true love. Nowadays, we are exposed to deceptively happy photos of them taunting on us on a daily basis.
Of course you will feel a great temptation to look at your ex's whereabouts via social media. Except the few lucky people whose first love has constantly been with them throughout their life, we are all guilty of keeping tabs on our ex’s accounts after a breakup. They are, after all, someone we once cared deeply for and who had a big impact on our lives. If you are one of those people who constantly open their ex's accounts on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, and can't seem to stop this despite how upset it makes you, keep reading this oneHOWTO article to find out how to stop stalking your ex on social media.
Delete or unfollow them
The most obvious step in this situation is to unfollow them or delete them as a friend. If you haven't done this already, do it now. If you unfollow your ex, it won't necessarily mean they will be out of sight and out of mind. This will however prevent you from making yourself worried by imagining what they are doing, when you see them with an attractive friend in a photo or tagged in a post that shows their apparent happiness. This can be very difficult to deal with.
Stop searching for their name
Again an obvious suggestion: stop visiting their page! Even if you have unfollowed them, you may find it tempting to type their name into the search bar. After a breakup it is natural to have an abundance of curiosities or worries about your ex. Are they happy or not? Are they dating someone? What does this mean about me as a person? Obsessing over such questions can make you want to visit your ex’s page again and again, so you'll need to stop obsessing.
Sometimes you might tell yourself you will briefly visit and just look at their recent images, then close the page. After saying this you happily open up your ex’s account and start scrolling through the images. Once you start scrolling, it can be hard to stop. Even the negative feelings this elicits can be addictive, so try to think of more positive activities you can be doing which encourage good self-esteem rather than deplete it.
Ask your ex to make their page private
Not all breakups are left on a bad note. Yet we can still obsess over our ex’s activity on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. If you had a clean breakup then call your ex and politely ask them to make their account private for some time until you are both ready to move on, even if they have done so already. Your ex will most probably appreciate your effort and make their page private. Otherwise, they could temporarily block you if they don't wish to make their profile private.
Remind yourself why you broke up in the first place
A day or two after a breakup, our heart will start to crave the presence of our ex. But since you know it is unlikely you will reunite (give or take some success stories), this is when you might decide to start checking their Instagram page. To avoid this, keep reminding yourself why you broke up.
Start remembering those moments when they hurt you. Keep thinking about those reasons until your thoughts start reversing. Think why they are posting certain images. Unfortunately being petty and immature is common during a break up, so make sure they aren't posting controversial pictures just to make you unhappy. If getting back together isn't a good idea, and you are sure of it, then stalking them on Instagram won't be either.
Find a new hobby
The best way to get over someone, whether in real life or online is to move on with your life in a practical way. Involve yourself in more productive work and practice behavior which will build you up, rather than tear you down. Much like what happens when you stalk someone on Instagram.
Putting your phone down and taking on a new hobby like a type of sport or a new instrument can really help. Yoga is a great way to help your body regain balance after the sadness of a breakup while also helping your mind to be put at ease. Spending time with friends who love us and support us will also help to make the pain go away. Only be alone when you truly think you need to be alone.
Change your password or delete your account
If all else fails, drastic action might need to be taken. If you can't trust yourself to not look at your ex's social media, then ask your best friend to change your password so that you can't go online for a while. Then you can talk to them when you think you're strong enough to log back in.
You could decide to delete your social media channels altogether. Some people may find this an extreme move given how dependent we have become on technology and the internet, however, it can be quite liberating and freeing not having any online profiles to maintain. No account means no news feed and no chance of seeing snippets of your ex's new life. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.
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